How Do I Live Missionally?
As I write this, at 9:45 a.m. in the room across the hall from me in our home, a seven-month-pregnant 20 year-old mother of two is sleeping in with her two year old son, her 11 month old daughter and her currently unemployed, shack-up boyfriend who, we believe, is the father of all three kids and who is our great nephew.
Why are they living together in our house? Well:
1. We believe, without doubt rightly or wrongly, in what Jesus says will happen on the day He sits on His glorious throne and separates the people of the world as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will look at the sheep and say,"Come, take your inheritance...For...I was a stranger and you invited me in." Then He will look at the goats and say, "Depart from me...For...I was a stranger and you did not invite me in." We believe that if we are compelled to invite the stranger in, we must be required to do the same for relatives.
2. We believe in the words Yahweh spoke through Hosea and which Jesus quoted twice: "I desire mercy, not sacrifice."
3. We don't know what else to do.
4. We know of no one in the CGGC--or outside of it for that matter--to turn to for advice or wisdom.
At the last MLI session, one of the people in MLI leadership asked me what we are struggling with at Faith as far as missionality is concerned and I laid out some of the story of the homeless unmarried mother of two. (She hadn't revealed that she was knocked up for the third time yet, though she was five months along at the time.) And, that MLI person had no response--not a single word. It was as if I had spoken in tongues.
What I learned at MLI is important and I am thankful for it. I am much further along in doing stuff in the cause of mission than I would have been without it.
But, it seems to me, that it was all big-picture stuff. It's about forming alliances in the community. It's about connecting needy people with programs that are already in place. It's about adopting schools. It's not about adopting the students and their families.
It tells us to connect with agencies that assist the homeless but it doesn't tell us what to when those agencies' capacity is maxed out and the only option for the homeless family of four looking into our eyes with their own pleading eyes is to sleep in the car in the cold or move into our only spare room. It sees the needy as a mass, not as individuals. It doesn't tell us if it's right or wrong to let an unmarried couple to shack up under our roof in our one spare room.
I really believe that one day I will stand as an individual either at the right hand of Jesus or at His left hand and I will be where I am as an individual because of how I responded, as a person, to the least of His brothers and sisters who were hungry and thirsty and homeless and clothes-less and sick and imprisoned. He doesn't say that He will separate the congregations of the world based on how well they formed alliances with social service agencies in their communities...but I don't know. Is what I am doing right? Is it a sin? Who do I ask?
I don't know.
I don't know the how-tos of missionality.
For me, those how-tos are among the forgotten ways.
So, because we don't know what else to do, our spare room is filled beyond capacity and I'm frustrated and angry and confused and exhausted and I lose sleep.
posted by bill Sloat at 8:11 AM
9 Comments:
Bill,
Thanks for sharing. I don't have any answers, but have always wished this blog had room for more stuff like this. This is the sort of thing I wrestle with too. This is what I hoped the MLI might help with. Like you, I found it a worthwhile endeavor, but I was disappointed by the same things you suggested.
Personally, I think we just do what we do... and hope for the best.
We often have people who tell us how great it is what our son is doing (a transitional living home for men). They talk about it like it's cute, and all glorified and whatnot. Sometimes it makes my stomach turn, because they fail to see just how difficult it is. The fights, and hurt feelings, and heartache, and bitterness, and guardedness, and survival instincts and chaos that they deal with every single day... all that goes along with working with real, live people suffering with addictions and prison habits and homelessness. It is not pretty in the least. I don't think there is a way to make it so.
I guess I share this just as a way of saying, I don't think there is a way to be missional and feel good about it. Not that we should all be miserable, but I think if people like us are ever "satisfied"... then we might be missing something.
I also want to share a story from a book. I will put it in an additional comment, because I'm sure this will be too long.
One of my favorite passages from any book I've ever read is in Frost & Hirsch's 'ReJesus.' They are describing an imaginary meeting between Peter and Paul. Old friends road-weary and worn from ministry and disappointment. They meet in a restaurant and on p. 193 is this:
****
"And so it goes. Two tired men sharing back and forth, recounting stories of new cells in Asia Minor, new converts in Europe, new developments in Greece.
Finally Paul says, "Peter, I'm not sure when I'll see you again..."
"You say that every time we get together."
"I know, and it's always true. But in case our paths never cross again, can you tell me about him one more time."
Peter smiles sadly, "Oh, Paul, you've heard me tell you those stories a million times. You tell them yourself better than I do."
Paul leans forward toward his friend, "Comrade, I've been beaten, abandoned, betrayed, shipwrecked, and left for dead. It's hard to think of a cell I've planted that isn't in the grip of some crisis, personal or doctrinal. I'm not well. I'm often hungry. And, well, according to some of my friends, I look like an old man. The revolution is unfolding, slowly but surely. Ah, the things we've seen. But at times it feels arduous. I long for the Lord as the watchman longs for the end of night. And there are times when I wonder whether these small, struggling cells we're planting will become the movement we dreamed of. Yes, I do wonder. Even after all I've seen and done. All we've seen and done..."
Then he fixes his eyes firmly on Peter's and says, pleading, "Tell me again.""
****
Personally, that is what I long to hear too. Not that I've done anything like them (or most of you reading this), but I could give a shit about adopting a school. I am tired, worn out, frustrated, and barely hanging on. Most days I could use a good dose of Jesus as much as anyone. I would think there might be a denominational position for someone just to do that. Or maybe I just need a vacation. Anyway, thanks for this post, Bill.
Dan, that's for sharing that quote and your heart too. I agree that this is the stuff we should be talking about here. Share struggles...
Bill, I think that one's home is the sacred line that we draw. We'll go out and serve, but don't ask us to open our homes.
I think that someone opening their home to another in need is one of the best marks of the depth of discipleship that I can think of.
I appreciate you sharing that this is not a completely joyful experience. Thank you for sharing your feelings and turmoil about what's happening.
I think you did the right thing. What happens from here is a situation that's going to take a lot of prayer and probably the discernment of your faith family collectively.
I struggle greatly with the relationship between providing people's short term needs and long term solutions...
In the end, discipleship has very little to do with partnering with social agencies and organizations (as good and appropriate as these things might be.)
It's got a lot more to do with the situation you find yourself in.
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H,
Thanks for the encouragement and the empathy...and for the passage from ReJesus. It hit the spot.
M,
You describe the struggles well.
And, it strike me that I am blessed because the people in the congregation are on the same journey Evelyn and I are on. That can be said for few congregations these days. We don't have to convince people in our lives to care about the things we care about.
Dans and Brent,
I want to thank you for the affirmation on this thread but I'm still asking for guidance in the hows. I think they have eternal consequences for me and for everyone who seeks to do what Jesus would do.
It is true that not all people who say to Jesus, "Lord, lord," believe in what today we call missional living. However, as one who believes that Jesus was being honest in suggesting that He will judge us based on what we do with the hungry, thirsty, homeless, clothesless, sick and imprisoned, I'm desparate for wisdom to know how to prepare my self, my wife and every Jesus-follower I know for that day and for the eternity that stands beyond it.
What am I to do about the seven month pregnant you mother of two and the unemployed guy she shacks up with?
You provide what you can in the short term (as you are doing) will helping them seek long term solutions.
You make it clear that you are helping them get into a better situation, not empowering the current one. If necessary, you consider putting a time limit on their stay.
You help them take stock of what income they have, what assistance might be available, what housing might be available.
You seek the wisdom of the church body that you are a part of and solicite ideas.
I don't know the specifics of their hearts and what they are thinking / wanting...
Maybe it's my bias, but when I read the Gospels, I see Jesus helping those who wanted help. Who were seeking a better situation but couldn't do anything about it within themselves.
Some people want to be healed, to be better, to be in a different financial situation etc, but they don't know how or are unable. Some people are happy taking handouts indefinitely.
I'll help the latter a bit (and certainly want to err on the side of generosity given Jesus teaching), but the bulk of effort has to go to the former, in my thinking.
I certainly don't want to be a goat.
Thanks, M.
What I'm realizing is how great an emotional toll living in radical obedience to the 'royal law,' 'love your neighbor as yourself' takes.
It is no wonder that Paul commands in the FIRST PERSON PLURAL, i.e., to himself and others, "Let us not become weary in doing good." (Gal. 6:9)
Since Evelyn was diagnosed with cancer the only thing I've seen her get angry about has been related to the how tos of obeying that command. Since she was diagnosed we've argued only twice. Both time over those how tos.
That gives meaning to me to Jesus saying that on the day He sits on His glorious throne that He will separate the people of the world and say, "I was hungry..., I was thirsty..., I was a stranger..., etc..
According to Him, it will all come down to how our love for Him bears the fruit of love in our relationship with others.
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